Tuesday, May 15, 2012


A question for all single women: do you find yourself looking at every single male left, ring finger?
I used to think that this was a habit of the divorced woman. Before you judge my theory, let me explain. I figured that once women had been married they would immediately be eying up their next potential mate. After all, they already signed up for a til death arrangement so my assumption was that they would want another such relationship. In my biased view, I always assumed men were the cause of most failed marriages. Women were always the hurt ones, or so I thought. As I grow, mature and see a little bit more of reality I'm learning that is not the case.
And I'm learning the left, ring finger check isn't reserved for the divorced woman only.
It becomes the habit of the once engaged, twenty some year old, too.
This habit reduces a person to the jewelry they wear on a single finger. It takes the focus away from the face, body and even dazzling eyes. All other factors become irrelevant in light of the left hand.
I know because I am guilty of diverting my eyes to check out every man's left hand. Young, old, handsome or not my taste, it doesn't matter. I check every man's left hand.
Do you want to know what I'm learning?
Everyone is married. I'm not kidding - everyone. I'm only twenty-two but my field of possible future mates is shockingly slim. Add in the fact that I'm in the market for a committed Christian and there is a strong possibility I will remain a life long single. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'd be perfectly content with such a fate. Sure, there would be days that I'd long for a companion and someone to love me and for me to love, but all in all I think I could handle those tough days.
There would be positives to being single forever and ever, amen. Never having to consult a man on decorating choices, what to have for dinner or work decisions. All consulting would be between God and I. End of story. No man input needed. I could get used to that - oh yes, that's right, I am used to that!
Being on my own has many advantages, one of which being the luxury of sitting here writing without interruption or concern for where my significant other is or when they expect me back home. I don't know when I'm going to make it back home and that is a-o-k because no one is asking. Ah, isn't that a peaceful thought?
But back to the left hand. As I looked around the church on Sunday I realized that each male in attendance, over the age in which one graduates from high school, had a shiny band on their left ring finger. From the old men in suit coats to the young guys in t-shirts and jeans, they all had one thing in common: gold rings. Or silver. But you get the idea.
I thought back to Saturday night when I had also been at church.
I thought back to the ring fingers.
Same result. Everyone had a ring.
It is as if Christians graduate from high school and get hitched like a one-two punch. And you want to know what comes next? A baby in a baby carriage. When do these people come up for air? I understand falling and love and wanting to get married ASAP - tried that once. But not even I went as frenzied fast as the people surrounding me in that sanctuary. Some of the married love birds looked like they barely would have made it through college freshman orientation, let alone the "I do's" of a wedding ceremony.
It isn't just at church, either. It is all over my Facebook news feed. Wedding albums are as prevalent as status updates - and we all know the rapid pace at which FB junkies write "what's on their mind". It makes my head spin.
The wedding albums come at a similar clip. It seems like everyday someone else goes from engaged to married or in a relationship to engaged. Sometimes they have no relationship statues and then boom! They're married. Were those relationships arranged? Drunk night in Vegas? Who knows!
All I know is that I'm practically a spinster if you consult the Christian marriage timeline. And even more distressing is the fact that I haven't a single prospect for the future. Gees, if I was dead set on getting married I'd be sweating bullets. By now I should at least be discussing the number of kids I want with some man who wants the same number. This is Christian relationship step two. Step one is introduce yourself.
But I'm not anywhere near step two. Or step one for that matter.
And I'm surprisingly okay with that. In a world full of hooking up and getting hitched, I'm content to watch it all happen without joining in the fun. I'm at peace with being single and unattached. In fact, I'm enjoying it.
Today I was driving along and for the first time in quite a while I looked down at my hand and had a distinct thought: no one has held this hand in a romantic gesture in well over a year. At first I was slightly melancholy. Holding hands is a sweet gesture.
That thought lasted for a brief moment before it was replaced by one that plastered a smile across my face: Pippy walked into the bathroom while I was putting my makeup on this morning and licked my leg, then walked away.
Sweet, don't you think?

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