Friday, May 4, 2012

Love isn't blind

Confession time: I am in love.
Yes, I know this comes to a shock seeing as though my FaceBook status hasn't been updated with "in a relationship" and a love declaration as my "What's on your mind?" update.
But I will tell you what is on my mind.
Brace yourselves.
Specifically Light Roast Coffee, black (hard core, baby) from Panera Bread.
My relationship with this cup of coffee, specifically when it comes in a green mug, is like two love birds - we just can't get enough of each other!
They say love is blind, but I think I can see just fine. This green mug is perfectly shaped and has no chips or flaws. It is the perfect fit for the grasp of my little hand. I've never dropped this precious mug or struggled to wrap my hand around its perfectly curved exterior.
We fit together like peanut butter and jelly. Stephanie and Panera Bread Light Roast Coffee in a light green mug. Hmm....doesn't flow off the lips quite like a PB and J but tastes just as good going down! Trust me!
They say love can become an obsession. You think about the object of your affection without ceasing. You plan out your future around what the other lover will be doing or where their future will take them. You write their name on notebook covers and backs of receipts. Hearts and stars abound on scribbles across the page. So, this got me thinking, have I crossed the line into obsessive love?
Answer: no.
What an absurd thought! I am not addicted to coffee. In fact, I stopped drinking it for a whole two days and didn't shake once... or twice, didn't shake twice. Maybe I did shake once. Or maybe I was just chilly. Lets go with the latter. You see, I'm not addicted.
And do I need this coffee to function? Well, certainly not. I utter phrases before my morning cup of joe. Some mornings I don't even have a cup of joe. I stick to a cup of H2O most mornings. I'm more of a lunch Panera Bread coffee lover. When it comes to do it yourself coffee I never have the same butterflies and rainbows love spell that comes from Panera Bread. That coffee has captured this heart, what can I say?
But I can focus. In fact, after my coffee I can focus at top notch levels. I'm productive and energetic. My senses are at peak performance. A car comes into my lane - I'm all over that horn. Pippy suddenly pulls on the leash without warning - my hand locks up like the jaws of Audrey II in Little Shop of Horrors. Come on world, give me your best shot!
And if you could, add a little caffeine to it. Please and thank you!
Come to think of it, the Panera Bread Light Roast coffee in the light green mug (PBLRC-lgm) love is not only NOT an obsession it is downright healthy.
Think about it this way: you can't marry a cup of coffee. You can marry a building. I read about a woman in Seattle who did just that, but she wasn't marrying a beverage or kitchen glassware. So, I think my logic still stands.
But let me take it further.
If you can't marry something then you also can't get engaged to it which we know is a good safety net for moi seeing as though I already ventured down that road once. This saves a lot of trouble. I will never have to worry if mug of coffee is or isn't going to propose. And I don't have to doubt its taste in rings. Last I checked, coffee doesn't shop. And all that planning is a real time suck. So no wedding magazine purchases or appointments with florists. Coffee love is a time and money saver!
I don't have to worry about coffee texting or calling too much. Or coffee demanding that I change my plans so I can see it - you're on the calendar for noon, no worries. I don't have to dress up for coffee or worry that I have spinach stuck in my teeth. Coffee doesn't care. Coffee and spinach get along.
This is relationship heaven.
My advice to women everywhere: find a beverage and love it... be wise of course. I am not advocating substance abuse. But caffeine romance has its perks. Get a cup and see for yourself.
I recommend PBLRC-lgm. It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

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