Monday, September 30, 2013

The answer is "Yes"

Have you ever heard God whisper to you "am I enough?"
Have you been in His presence, silent and still, and heard Him offer Himself to you, promising to be your portion and your sustenance?
Have you ever heard God ask you to be patient with Him, hanging on to Him and Him alone, while He works out the plan for your life?

Today I heard that. I heard God ask me plainly, "Aren't I enough for you?"
What could I possibly say? Of course He is enough. Of course He can sustain me. Of course He can be my sustenance. Of course He can carry me. Of course He can be my everything.
And He is.
Once again God was asking me to rely solely on Him. I am not to rely on another person, thing or the dream of a person or thing. My days aren't to be spent looking ahead to what will fulfill me next, but they are to be a daily sacrifice to the Lord. Each day is precious and special to Him. He has a purpose for me in this day. Fulfilling that purpose and being in His presence is enough to give my life abundant meaning. I don't need what this world has to offer. I have something greater.
When I heard God's question I was humbled. Clearly I wasn't making Him my everything. If I had been then there would have been no need for Him to ask. But I was looking elsewhere for fulfillment. I was letting my mind and heart search for external things of this world to fill the place in my heart that only God can fill. Primarily, I was dreaming and wishing for a romantic, male companion to fill such a place. But God hasn't sent Mr. Right just yet. For all I know He may never send him. So, the question is, can God be enough in spite of that? This isn't always an easy answer to give, but yes, He is enough. Somedays those words are harder to utter than others. But every day, no matter how difficult it may be, the answer is the same.
I may never have a special someone in my life. I may never have someone to share my home, adventures and difficulties with in the form of a flesh and blood husband. But I have someone in Heaven and He loves me unconditionally. He is jealous for me. He desires me with His whole heart and wants me to yearn for Him with the same intensity. He is lovingly, longingly looking at me and asking, "won't you let me be enough for you?"
And I am saying yes.

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