I ran as fast as I could, putting my little legs into overdrive. My heart was pounding so loudly within my chest that it drowned out all the sounds around me. All I could think about was running... fast. I had to run fast enough to get away from the German Shepherd that was hot on my trail, chasing me down with a fierce look in his eyes and the threat of attack in his growl. His size was overwhelming and his speed was like lightening. How could I ever outpace such an animal?
I just kept my focus on the path forward, dodging branches and potholes to escape his vicious grasp. There seemed to be no end in sight, no safe haven up ahead. I kept shifting my glance from side to side, searching for somewhere I could escape but there seemed to be no where to hide so I just kept running forward.
Then all of a sudden, for reasons I don't understand, I decided to look back at my aggressor. And that is when the whole scene changed.
What had once been a vicious German Shepherd had turned into an innocently hopping kangaroo. He too was following me but there was no viciousness in his eyes nor growl on his lips. This kangaroo was just jumping along behind me, as if he were just looking for a friend.
My run slowed to a gentle walk. The threat was over. My attacker was just a kangaroo. I could handle a kangaroo.
And then I woke up.
It has been weeks since I've had a single dream. But the kangaroo changed all of that. The chase scene that played out in my sleep last night was as vivid and real as the run I took yesterday through the park. I could feel the anxiety of being chased by that angry dog, the overwhelming terror of having nowhere to hide and no escape route. But then I experienced the calm and relief that came over me like a tidal wave when I realized the dog was gone. In its place was just a fuzzy kangaroo who had no intentions of harming me.
There is an undeniable symbolism in my return to the dream world. In the last week my health predicament has taken a drastic turn. Without any prompting or begging, God gave me a diagnosis for the health issue that has been plaguing me for years. There was no audible voice but there was a clear-cut diagnosis. When the word came down I was overcome by a sense of calm and peace. It was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, a weight I hadn't realized was so cumbersome.
For four years I have lived with the terror of not understanding what was happening in my own body. I was perpetually being chased by something vicious that I couldn't define or outrun. And then, with that word from God, I turned around and the attacker was gone. In its place was something much less harmful and much more manageable. In the place of the terror was just an innocent disorder that I could handle. One simple sentence from God brought my run to a walk and returned my heart's pace to a state of rest. The anxiety was cast off. The terror and fear of the unknown was over. God provided me with an answer and it was far less frightening than what I had been running from all along.
There have been years spent running and my body is certainly worn out. The tension of the unknown has taken more of a toll on my spiritual and physical state then I ever realized before. I never knew how heavy a load I was carrying and how fast I was running. But now that the weight has been lifted and the paced slowed, I see how taxing these past four years have been.
Now it is time to rest. It is time to catch my breath. The vicious dog of my dreams has been chasing my reality for four long years. Little did I know that all the while it was really just an innocent kangaroo. But now I know. God has revealed to me the truth of my health and the real cause of my condition.
God knew who was chasing me all along but before He could show me the truth He needed me to run first. I needed to run so that I would search for Him and seek His safety. Never before had I searched for Him with such intensity and fervor. Then in my most dire of circumstances I ran as hard and fast as I could to find refuge in His arms.
It was when I ran to Him that He could show me the true identity of the attacker. He has turned my head to look behind so I can finally see what has driven me to His side. It was really just an innocent kangaroo all along.