Tomorrow is my birthday and it terrifies me because I have so little to show for my twenty eight years of life.
The list of my documented accomplishments ends at high school graduation but, please, don't ask me to find the actual diploma. That record went missing long ago.
Early twenties milestones are also noticeably absent from my timeline. I passed through them without wearing a cap and gown again and I never have received another diploma. Which is no great loss since I probably would have lost the record of it anyways.
But other milestones have been harder on the heart to miss.
Missing marriage, never even having the chance to hold onto documentation of that union, left a hole in my story that I had hoped would have long ago been filled. By now I thought I'd have a baby's birth certificate or two in my possession. And, actually, I should but I lost Pippy's and Molly's birth records within months of obtaining them.
At least I had hoped for a testimony by my twenty eighth birthday. A miraculous healing or miraculous book deal, perhaps? During these ten years of mysterious illness and missed milestones I had hoped God would have erected his own unique stone display upon my empty life. At the very least I had hoped that by this birthday I would have a clear, understandable diagnosis to help define my obscure, unconventional life.
But tomorrow I turn twenty eight and all I have to show for it can be found in my second grade writing journal. On February 6, 1997 I wrote "One day I was bored. I imagined I opened windows to other worlds and I found a friend.”
In Mrs. School's 2nd grade class I wrote the story of my life. In the faded green paperback "Level One" journal that miraculously survived in my Mother's basement for 21 years, I have the most precious documentation from my past twenty eight year. That one entry tells my entire testimony. My whole life is summed up in those simple words.
All my life I have been bored, unfilled and searching for something to satisfy me. So I have opened up windows into other world and I keep finding my friend, my Savior, my Lord.
I keep finding Jesus.
Everywhere I go, I find Jesus. At every missed milestone my Savior is there. At every closed door, I am shown greater glimpses of His glory. At every window I have opened desperately hoping to discover other worlds I have found all I will ever need. I have found my life, my friend, my Salvation. I have found Jesus and in Him my life has been found.
Tomorrow is my birthday and I have the greatest treasure to celebrate. I have Jesus and twenty eight years of God lovingly, graciously, tenderly carrying me closer to THEE.