God often speaks to us in ways we don't want to hear. Maybe that is why so few people ever say they hear God. They don't want to, so they shut him up. Instead of tuning in they press mute.
For three years God has been turning up the volume in my life and I have, at times, reluctantly let him have that control. I admit to not always wanting to hear what the message was going to be. Most of the time the message was to be patient and be prepared to wait. Who wants to hear that? We live in a culture of now. I'm not used to waiting. When red lights take too long I start to get antsy. When the internet is taking forever to load I immediately start pressing all sorts of buttons which probably only makes the problem worse. I'm human and on my own natural steam I am a terrible failure at waiting.
So God has been making some improvements in me. Throughout my ordeal he has raised the volume and made the message in loud and clear: get patience or get frustrated, because you are in a period of waiting. At first I wanted to get frustrated and search for answers to put an end to the waiting. Who wants to be in a depleted physical state at the age of 20, 21, 22 or 23? No healthy minded person wants to be physically unhealthy. I have never wanted this physical condition and at first I fought hard against it, trying to find a human answer to a problem that could only be cured by a spiritual solution.
It has taken years but I am finally resting in the waiting, allowing it to take as long as is needed.
To get to this point I have endured tears, screams and deep depression. Many days have been far from pleasant. I have wanted answers and a solution, not a future of unknowns. God had to teach me that I didn't need to know the future to rest in it.
Peace doesn't come from knowing the road ahead but knowing who is driving the car.
This revelation didn't come overnight. The truth of God's promise to take care of his own has come slowly. I haven't always been able to see proof of it in my physical life but God didn't go silent in my spiritual life. He purposely quieted my physical life so he could have full control of the airwaves in my spiritual life.
He taught me that learning to listen comes when it is not what we want to hear. But hold on to the promises of God. It may seem like he is only giving you bad news but those are the times to take heart and get comfortable. Enjoy the time of rest and the peace that God wants to give lavishly. When you learn to listen in these trying times, you will be better equipped to hear God when the messages take on a more uplifting tune: your healing is in you, claim the victory, you are gaining weight. If you couldn't hear him when he said: "stop and wait," how will you hear when he says: "get ready to go"?
What I have learned over the last three years is that God will use the unpleasant circumstances, the unwanted conditions of our lives to make us better listeners. Will you tune in?