Thursday, August 30, 2012

Adolescence in crisis: part II

The pathetic nature of the teenage and young adult population grows with each days morning newspaper. Are the editors at the USA Today trying to paint a picture of a dim witted, incapable generation unable to navigate the world as we know it? Or maybe the facts just speak for themselves and journalists are simply relaying the information to the general public. Given the nature of the articles I'm beginning to believe the latter. You can't make this stuff up. And it really is for the safety of all America that the truth be told.
So, today's eye opening realization about teenagers/young adults? Apparently they can't walk very successfully. While other segments of the young population (ie. toddlers, children) have seen reduced numbers in pedestrian accidents, the teenage population has seen a stark rise in incidents. The young kids seem to be picking up on the "don't walk in front of a moving vehicle" rule of law. Their incident rate has dropped 16%. Snaps for the little kids! But boo to the teenagers. They have a rise in incident.
A huge rise actually: a shocking 25%.
Researches are blaming cell phone usage. Teenagers are so distracted by their cell phones that they forget how to walk, see cars, hear horns and use a cross walk. Instead they are busying "lol"-ing and probably sending pictures that are borderline inappropriate to their friends instead of focusing on the MAC truck barreling down the highway with limited quick stopping power. Now, not only do drivers have to worry about fellow drivers texting but add into the mix texting walkers and the world just became a very scary place to operate a motor vehicle!
My concern goes beyond matters on the road. This whole teenage generation has me a bit worried for the future of our country. Just the other day we learned that students entering college can't figure out how to do their own laundry or clean up a dorm room. That was shocking enough - and highly pathetic. On top of that, they can't safely cross the road. Does anyone else see a problem here? The next generation is unable to function in society! How in the world will they ever lead a country, manage international affairs or delegate workers for a successful business? No foreign leader will welcome in a US delegate who hasn't washed their clothes since their Mom last came to visit. And who would insure the leading of a nation to someone who shouldn't be entrusted with the leading of children across a busy street? To be able to tackle the big tasks, first the simple, common sense routines of life have to be mastered. Somehow an entire generation (statistically speaking) has missed this principle.
But do not fear, for I once again have a solution for this epidemic that is threatening the future of our nation and the safety of all innocent driving peoples. I propose a nation wide shut off of all cell phones operated by teenagers. I'm not talking a forever and ever amen powering down, just a temporary return to the days of old when all ten years old didn't have to be in constant communication with each other via mobile device. For a brief time we could show teenagers that life does go on even if the phone is powered down. I propose that this cell phone moratorium would last roughly three days. I'm not trying to kill these kids, just teach them a valuable lesson. During the three days they could still use a land line phone or borrow Mom's cell phone to call a friend. But the 24/7 phone in hand, sending 100+ texts a day would come to a halt for a brief 72 hours. Can you just imagine it? Can your mind even comprehend the peace of a buzz free dinner with the family? Just picture the eyes of your beloved teenager actually looking up and forward, instead down into their laps at a glowing screen that is probably causing radiation damage and eye blindness (who knows what kind of negative effects all this technology is having on us)? The world would seem like a different place!
For three days the number of pedestrians hit by cars would drastically decline! Car accidents would be less frequent. The brakes in your car wouldn't be slammed as often, as your young driver wouldn't be almost rear ending the car in front of them as they casually glance down to see if Johnny has sent yet another text, continuing on the four hour long conversation. Life as we know it would be entirely different.
This sounds like too good to be truth. This proposition is so appealing that I'm considering starting a petition to make it a reality! I could get the country behind me and we could take this one all the way to the top! When I picture the teenage population pried away from their cell phones it is almost too good to be true. A girl can dream though can't she?

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