Saturday, May 10, 2014

A tug on the heart

I woke up once again with a fierce spasm in my leg and, to my great discouragement, my arm as well. This thorn in my flesh, or more accurately spasm in my muscles, has caused me more frustration than I can possibly express in mere words. The unexpected tightening of muscles in my left leg and left arm has brought me to tears. The pain has been so acute that I've struggled to find the will to walk. Moving has been a matter of mind over matter, or mind over pain.
This morning was one of those mornings. It has been over a month since I've experienced the spasm of my delicate muscles. They have remained still and at rest since I began oxygen therapy over a month ago. With the "breath of God," as I like to refer to it, has come the relaxing of that debilitating tug on my extremities. But last week I couldn't go to as many sessions as I would have liked and my little body has felt the effects of less oxygen. Who knew that just an hour less of God's great oxygen could undo so much positive progress?
Instead of being frustrated at the regression, I am choosing to be thankful for the discovery of this therapy. Now I know that there is a mode of treatment that can indeed help me. I now know that it is worth continuing.
Tomorrow I return to the oxygen chamber and to the blessing of healing but until then I am going to thank God for the tugging on my muscles. Yep, that's right, I'm going to thank Him. It may seem odd to praise God for pain. Doctors are visited and aspirin is taken to get rid of pain but today I am not going to try to escape the pain caused by this spasm. Today I am going to thank God that He knows the intricate working of my petite body. He is fully aware of the nerves and cells that are communicating to the ligaments and muscles in my legs and arms. He knows what messages my brain is sending and which messages aren't being sent correctly. And thankfully, He has designed my body to be resilient. No matter how many times my muscles flare or arm spasms God has proven that He can restore my body to proper functioning. Time and time again I've seen Him work miraculously in my body and prove to be a great physician.
So, why would I complain or worry when I have a day when things aren't working just quite right? Has God suddenly lost His ability to fix my broken body? Is He no longer the Master Physician?
No, God is still all-powerful. This tug on my muscle isn't here to stay and it isn't here because God has forgotten me or can't heal me. Maybe it is here because God wants to remind me to look up to Him. Could it be that this tug is His pull on my heart, drawing my gaze back to His loving, smiling face?
When I feel the pull of a tender muscle radiating through my leg and even up into my arm I am reminded that God is constantly tugging on my heart, pulling me in closer to Himself.
"Come near to God and he will come near to you…" (James 4:8).
God is bidding me to come near. If I heed the call and draw close to my Sustainer He is right there, just waiting to be found and ready to give me strength. My muscle may be flared and my arm may be suffering from severe spasms, but the greater pull is the pull of God. His tug can overcome any pain that my physical body experiences.
This morning, as I reflect on the state of my body and what could be seen as a step backward in my healing, I will see nothing but progress because I am not looking at my leg. I am looking at my Savior and He is pulling on my heart, calling me close and drawing me near to His side as He says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you."

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